Splashes of Colours


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He’s late

I am tired of waiting for baby Taylor. The EDD is supposed to be last Saturday. Today is Wednesday already, but he’s still not here. *sigh*

So I need to just chill and enjoy my maternity leave before the never-ending mess starts.

First, I let myself succumb to my craving – durian cake. My favourite!

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It’s so good, I am going to order another one for the baby shower. 🙂

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40 week already? But how does contraction feel like?

I am as clueless as … anything.

There were numerous times when my bump felt real tight and very hard to touch, but I always thought it could be that the baby was unhappy and tense. I don’t know if those were Braxton Hicks.

As it’s now a ‘waiting game’ at 40 weeks pregnant, I keep looking out for signs of labour. Several days ago, my bowel movement was so active, I actually announced to my husband that the labour was coming. Till today, my baby has not been delivered yet.

I guess my baby was not ready then.

My EDD will be this Saturday, 15 Feb. And my husband is hoping that baby can arrive on 14 Feb as our Valentine baby. But, I can’t wait that long. I want to see my baby now. 🙂

I have no mood to do much things except to little bit of household chores, read up on how to take care and develop baby’s potential and sleep. Sometimes the fatigue can be so overwhelming. During times when I don’t feel drowsy, I crave for comments and tips posted online by other mummies. One mummy recommends to walk 4km every other day to help with a faster and smoother delivery. 4km is not joke. I can hardly even waddle to a nearby hawker centre for my meals now.

Yup, I now waddle. Husband thinks ‘lumbering’ is a better word. Either way, it’s nothing near ‘graceful’. I used to see pregnant ladies waddling down the street and commented that they should try to correct their posture and walk more ‘properly’. And, me this stupid smart-Alex is waddling down every streets now! There is NO OTHER WAY I can make movement without waddling. Sad, it is.

The main reason for waddling are the back aches and pelvic pain. I don’t know if it is the pressure or the muscle, but most of the times I found myself gritting my teeth whenever I try to move.

And maybe because I can’t sleep at night (as I sleep so much in the day), I am now still up with my computer. There is something I read online which I am so eager to share – how does contraction feel like?

After reading two pages of comments, I have a pretty good idea of how mummies describe contractions. But this particular comment sums it all up:

“Contractions feel like the worst period cramps you could imagine. Your whole body hurts. You will know when you’re in labor because it will be a pain you’ve never felt before and it will be very sudden.” – posted by chicklit55.

I used to think that I can do without epidural. But after having all the body aches for the past two weeks, I kind of chickening out now.

I once asked my doctor if the majority of the pregnant mothers use epidural for their delivery. He smiled and said that it’s difficult to answer this question and recommends me to assess my pain tolerance when I get admitted. Well, I am silly enough to ask such a question, but not stupid to read between his lines.

You know, sometimes I hope my doctor can be a more chatty person, have more talk time with me during the consultation and make me a less clueless first-time mother. If I did not go for the antenatal classes, I believe I will have a harder time. And well, my current doctor is not cheap, so in a way I am always expecting more out of any consultation session. Anyway, I am quite determined to get another doctor for my next baby.

Ciao now. You will know when I deliver, because I will post photos of my baby here. *Smile*


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Waiting… Waiting… for?

Right now I am, seriously, no joking, no horsing around, waiting for my water to break. And I believe a lot of pregnant ladies at their 39 weeks will understand exactly what I mean.

I started my maternity leave early, mainly to rest and avoid creating a drama at office when my water breaks. I admit some of the times I felt bored at home, but on the other hand, I am happily enjoy the peace and using almost every ounce of my energy tidying the house (though it seems I have only left with two ounces of energy in my 39-week pregnant body now).

I sleep a lot, do some simple house work, watch some drama, read and prepare the activities I want to do with my baby, etc. And it seems like these are everything I can do. No more energy for anything else.

Although my EDD is next Saturday, I am always expecting the baby to arrive a bit earlier. I know the older generation (my mother in law, mother and others) keep ensuring me that the first baby will never be early, but ALL my friends and colleagues who shared their journeys with me, told that their firsts were early. A handful of them were even as early as 3 weeks.

I won’t deny that I have been visualising myself in multiple situations which I can be in when my water breaks. I really wish I will be calm and have some time for shower instead of turning into a helpless preggie on the public train when it happens.

That’s why I am avoiding long traveling on train alone now.

And I am nervous. I don’t know how it’s going to be like, how exactly painful it’s going to be, how my dearest baby will look like. I felt helpless, really, when there’s more ‘i don’t know’ than ‘I know’.  And it definitely does not calm my nerves when even the best and most expensive gynae cannot give you an accurate date when your baby is due, naturally.

I now can see why some ladies had to suffer pre- and post-natal depression. Everything is an unknown First time… family and relatives are persuading you not to shower during your confinement month (when the weather is humid and hot and, I hope it’s not just me, pregnancy makes the face and the hair more oily)… weight gain becomes uncontrollable and weight loss seems impossible… aches come from places where you did not know exist previously… A restful night becomes an unreachable dream… getting yourself out of bed to drain your bladder becomes a painful challenge… scrubbing your legs during shower is now an uphill task… water retention is so bad I cannot clench my fists and causes my tendons to be slightly sore.

I think I had it bad. Poor me.

But, I know there are many other mothers who had experienced worse.

So, before I continue, kudos to all mothers who went and are currently going through pregnancy for their babies. Frankly, not everyone is cut out to do this.

However, above all, I hope baby Taylor will be a good boy and both him and I will experience something magical within the next one week.

Cheers!